Summer Fun.

Promise me you won't get involved.
It makes everything have a shot life span.
Summer fun, summer love.
I can give you what you need right here or I can let you drift away.
I see what you are here for and I can't help but drift away.
Sweet touch to my face and deep kiss to the mouth.
You taste of bitter raspberries.
I can't complain, the look in your eyes is intoxicating enough.
I couldn't even tell another soul of how you make me feel.
Smile to my face, sun on my cheeks, how can I let you make me feel this way..
Hands up, guards down.
I'll let you have me right here, right now.
Looking up to the clouds for answers, for reasons why, but I just can't seem to figure it all out.
You rest your hand on my head, and the clouds clear away..
There's nowhere I rather be, and no one I rather hold.
Kiss me until the summer fun grows old..

The Push and Pull.

Clear water, pushes and pulls me.
I don't know what to do but worry and enjoy it all at the same time.
I think one thing and put my foot down, but then my feelings tell me something else.
Forgiveness, overreaction, and second chances.
He knows these all too well.
I turn to a friend, so I won't be alone.
I'm sorry I'm so sensitive, but I've been through hell.
It's beginning to feel like a distant memory, that pain inside.
I'm not one hundred percent, but much better.
I look into the crystal clear waters and see my reflection..
You can have the world I think, a family, and nice things.
Love, care, and fun..loyalty, respect, and adventure.
I know one day I will get all the things I'm hoping for.
As long as I stand tall in these waters.

Writings on The Wall.

Look a little closer, you'll see something you never noticed.

Captivated by looks that's called lust and it'll get you good,

Everytime.

I'm sorry for the pain I caused, but this is the shit that I live for.

Make my life a little more pleasant, or just distract me from the things that make it hectic.

Look into your sweet eyes and wonder why..

Why me?

Why now?

And what does all this mean?

I stay quiet, try not to question the passion we ignite.

Can't stay away no matter how hard I try.

As much as I can't stand you I like having you there, listen to me talk about my shit

I really don't think that you care, but you comfort me and challenge me on my bullshit.

On my toes, I'm always there, but you try to stay two steps ahead, but I'm four baby.

Try and keep up.

I put you back in your box until you prove me wrong,

That you're not like all the others that come in and out of my life like a wrecking ball.

I stand strong, but I have my needs.

No soul wants to soar alone, just freely.
I can't believe how far I've come, heart obliterated and gone, but I keep two feet on the group, sorta.

I'll be waiting for you to look up and read the writings on the wall, then maybe you'll finally give me a call...

The Works.

I've know your type for a while.
Give and take back what you gave.
Be there and then fade away
I hope you understand why I came..
Here for the thrill, fuck the games
But when they don't act right let them explain.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, don't act that way
I've heard it all before, so this is like a rerun for a girl
You send a few texts my way, a phone call here and there
I won't let you in again..so deal with it baby.

Live a Little Less..Err Something.

No expectations.
With that you can never be let down.
Something I am trying not to always be.
Life is stressful as it is.

I see that you're unhappy.
I look at you and see a bit of me.
Trying to fight for something that was once good.
Holding out hope for the person of your dreams.

Realize that things won't change.
That when you see true colors, they aren't gonna go away.
When you feel the pain, and then make up, a little of it lingers each time.
Pieces of you chip away.

Falling victim to the personal hell you created with someone.
Wrapped up in your own demise.
Don't hold on to it.
Remember who you are and where you came from.

s k i n n y.

Come on skinny love just last the year,
holding onto love, and pain, and fear.
Gave up on what I knew before just to give you strength within.
I loved you when no one else knew to.
Why did I get hurt the most...?
Come on skinny love what happened here?
Who's to know the tales of our love anymore, but these scars I hold near.
Trying to, forget it all, just give me a break.
I don't know what the future holds to this day..

It Happens..

Sometimes we fall victim to tragedy and then we lose ourselves and then what?
Do we ever find solace again?
Can we ever really sleep soundly again?
I found a lover, someone that might care..
Someone that calls and shows up and sends good morning texts..
What more could a girl ask for?
Maybe a heart that wasn't torn into a million pieces.

Someone told me I was a mean person, that I had an attitude problem..
Yes, indeed that is true.
But it hurts to be this way.
To try to go through life as though nothing ever happened to me.
As though I am Andrea still.
I am not her, and she is no longer me.
I don't know who I am.
And when I lose my marbles, I can't even figure out why I'm alive.

For once I want things to be normal.
I want to feel the sun on my face, and the wind through my hair.
Take me away from myself, save me from the demise I face..
Get me away from hell on earth.

Ocean Faults.

There's been a shift in the winds..
The current picked up..not a storm per say, but the earth is no longer calm today.
I look across the horizon and see darkness.
The moon is high in sky, but there is no light illuminating.
I look up with hopeful eyes, but to no avail.
With closed eyes I feel soft lips on my neck..
I can't say that this isn't everything I've wanted, but is this a dream..?
When I open my eyes, everything comes into focus, and slowly fades away.
Firm hands are lifting me away.
"Don't hurt", only a soft whisper in my ear.
I drift away.
Waters are crashing down on me.
I'm floating away.
The moon glowing strong now, but he's so far away.
He looks with worried eyes as I'm washed away.
It's up to me to go to him, isn't it, I think.
I can't move.
My legs are as stone, and my heart is pounding.
I sink below the surface.
Watching as the moon turns into a distorted orb.
I can't look away.
They say your life flashes before your eyes, but the only thing I saw was that blurry moon.
Liars...I think as I slip away.

Be the Bigger Person They Say.

So much harder to do than you may think..
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to lose it or walk away..
But be the bigger person is what they all say.
Why sit there holding onto anger and pain, just talk it out, face it.
I can't tell you how hard it is for me..
I don't come from a place where it's okay to take it..but I don't want to deal.
But I must be the bigger person they say.
Friends are valuable, some will come and go..but bad blood is the worst.
So please help me be the bigger person today.

I'm Trying...

Being a better person doesn't come with age, it comes with realizing something.

After all the time that has passed..you still haven't figured it out, I said to myself..

I won't be good for you, I'll do it for me, is what I realized.

I'll stand strong and wear a proud face, because people come and go.

If I'm the best I can be because of someone that may leave 

then I won't have anything in me when they are gone.

I made that mistake once.,and the more I sit there and dwell on that problem the more stupid I feel.

It's believed that holding onto the past will have you forever stuck in it...

I can't express how often that has been the case.

I hold onto all the pain..21 years of pain. 

I feel pain from times I wasn't even alive, from times I was barely even a thought.

It all hurts.

The most "selfish" person is really the most caring..most compassionate..most loving.

I bottle the true me deep down inside because no one deserves it, hell I don't even deserve it.

I tell lies about my good qualities, because I don't want to let someone down with my bad ones..

These tales I tell about my life aren't real..they aren't the true me.

It's just how one person made me feel and think.

I can't always point a finger.

I can't always be confined this way, can I?