I like to keep it short and sweet.
No more bright eyes bushy tailed shit.
Things are so real now.
I see my world and it's out of grasps.
No one can break through this shell again.
I realized we both did a lot of opening up and letting all walls fall down, all to feel pain in it's ultimate form.
Never again will I willing feel this.
I will fight it til my last dying breath to not fall into love.
My judgement was lacking, and I felt the repercussions for that.
If anyone asks I was thrown into a fire to die. I'm wasting away.
And I get nothing to this day.
No one to hold my hand and tell me it's ok.
No one to give me a reason as to why I invested so much of my time in one person and then it was all thrown away.
You can say I have friends, but yet I spend my days alone.
You can say I'm successful, but yet it's not enough.
You can say I'm smart, yet I let my heart get thrown to wolves.
I can't say a damn thing anymore, all I can do is cry and have such bitter thoughts which only scorch the furthest reaches of my heart..
Thoughts which only fuck me over til someone else gets the chance..
You say I deserve the best..I am so beautiful..I'm so smart..we'll what the fuck does that matter if I'm all alone.?
If you're not here with me anymore..
Everything sucks...
My birthday is in three days, it means nothing. I can't celebrate being on this planet another year..because I spent that year with you. So I can only mourn this moment.
So thank you.
A toast: to bitterness, loneliness, abandonment, and a shitty year to come.
Here, Here.