Hot Tub Blues.

I give so much.
Yet they don't love me.
Why is that?  I can't give you the sun when I am the moon.
Why can't you know what I am to you?
Things don't make sense when you're in my space.
I care, I do but why don't you see me like I'd love you to.
So I sit up hoping.
And that's what you'll ever be to me.

We're Done Here.

I just want to be free.
So free yourself the boy replied.
I can't tell you many many times I've died inside.
But do they die with you he asked?
I thought for a moment before I spoke.
They never even knew what beautiful disasters were within me.
How can you be free if you don't let go?
How can you let go when you aren't free from the get go?
So the cycle must be broken somehow, you must prioritize what matters to you most.
Because at the end of the day you are you're longest long term relationship.
I'd pick me over you any day is that what you want me to say?
But there's not a me without you, when you are my heart.
Your heart is complete with me, but let's focus on getting your mind some peace and serenity.
I never doubted that you'd guide me into believing I'm the power to healing. . .
Letting go isn't about letting any off the hook.
Letting go is about taking charge of the things you decide to put time in energy into.
And I choose me.
Because without me there won't ever be a you.

Dark Days Again.

The whole while she was running towards you she was running away from everything else.
You look into these big brown eyes, but there's no soul behind them.
She loves with a broken heart, it's tainted, impure.
Walk away before the floor turns to quick sand.
Trust in the fact that she will never be perfect, she will never understand.
Try as you might to break through thick walls, but each time failure shows its face.
Slip those little pink pills into her hands.
Let her melt away, because she isn't able stand up against reality.
They say she's broken, that she's so tortured.
But she just can't ever forget the look on any of the faces she has shamed.

The End of the Beginning.

He said he might have a girlfriend soon.
He looks at me with eyes that have seen it all.
Hungry for more of my everything.
When did I become his everything?
Was it when I walked through that door or when our souls were created?
We were made for this.
When it's right it's right.
And things haven't been right for awhile.
So I keep myself good for him.
All fuckboys of my past only a whisper.
How can you love so much yet feel so alone?
Clearly there's a piece missing.
The part that puts everything else into place.