Billions of Neurons.

Meeting of the minds. 

She gets more from your philosophy than she does your body. 

Can't easily be pleased with a touch or a squeeze. 

Give her some food for thought to feed her curiosity.

I know you can't quite understand but just listen up man. 

There's more to connecting than you think. 

Finding common ground, respecting differences, but also stimulating the synaptic neurons of the brain. 

What could be more fulfilling? 

Not a drug, not sex, not any of the vices. 

Nothing could begin to compare. 

But yet here you are...selling your body like there's nothing else to offer. 

She doesn't even know you exsist. 

This is the Truest of Dreams.

I can't deny the urges, the wants and needs that I have. 

Truly pulling at me. 

Running from a dream is like trying to run from your shadow. 

I know deep within what I feel but I'm trying to prove a point. 

I can pick and choose..I don't always choose them all. 

I'm capable of healthy and platonic. 

I won't hurt anyone, because that's my biggest fear or getting wrapped up in something that'll destroy me. 

I'll take you for what you are..supportive and inspirational. 

A success about a decade ahead of me. 

I'm young..one day I'll be less free and this scares me. 

Until I'm ready it won't be put in front of me. 

Holding onto the little hope I've mustered. 

We can do this I tell myself. 

I can be happy again..and soon. 

Doesn't She.

She faded away into a nothing that not even the lost were familiar with. 

Her pain could be seen by the blind, yet her smile inspired trust. 

Smart girl, not one to worry of. 

But she was a fallen star. 

Very much so far away from her home, from everything she had ever known. 

Didn't she know that the birds needed her song...

That the flowers of the sun needed her admiration..

She flirts with the idea of freedom, of belonging to no one, no man or woman standing in her way. 

Just gone. 

No one can touch her. 

She's one with the earth now. 

Now and forever. 

FML (Free More Love).

I hit rock bottom. 

Just trying to find the surface. 

Maybe float up to the top just for a bit. 

You love and then you lost him. 

You keep on thinking bout him. 

But you can't play the keep away game. 

Don't be ashamed. 

It happens to the best. 

It sneaks up on you and you don't remember right from left. 

Your emotions go up and down til you end up on the ground. 

A total mess from the situation. 

It's hard to have great participation in this kind of situation. 

All of the questions with none of the answers. 

And the shit only gets deeper. 

Your soul only grows more found of the impeding darkness. 

But who do you know? 

Who do you know that has all this shit on lock? 

That doesn't flinch when their luck has dropped? 

I didn't see nothing, and I don't know a soul. 

Just Now.

These scars I have match the ones invisible to the eye. 

Though they'll never be as painful. 

I can't trust myself. 

I can't run from this. 

I do this shit everytime. 

I do it all the time something goes wrong. 

Finding it so much harder to handle life. 

When did everything become so down in the dumps? 

When did "friends" start making demands? 

I just want to know everything will be okay. 

That I can go to sleep and wake again to see another day. 

I just want to feel sane again. 

The Quote.

"However much you love somebody, you should always keep a part of yourself to yourself. Never give it all. You can never be yourself otherwise..."

And this is a truth that cannot be expressed in any better way.
She holds onto the emptiness where all the parts of herself used to be.

Quietly praying for their safe return one day. 

Or at least to have them filled with something of substance. 

She knows that giving her all results in personal satisfaction but there's always a small percentage that's just not having it. 

She'll wait forever, til she's blue in the 

face even. 

Holding her breath that just maybe he life will fall back together again. 

I Don't Even Know.

Why do I always fall for your type? 

The ones that don't love or feel easily.

The ones that always break hearts. 

I care, but I don't. 

I'll love you always, but I won't.

We sit and say farewell and goodbye. 

Each and everytime I can't even get it right. 

What you deserve and what you love. 

I just can't think it up.

So I give you the very least. 

I think of you and then it's obsolete. 

I give you all my love, trust, and gratitude. 

Just to have it spit back at me and I'm sorry. 

I'm just a girl who loves and loves again. 

And it'll be til the very end. 

The Real Blues.

Cause when you're all alone the walls close in. 

The liquor got you thinkin of that nigga who "doesn't exist". 

You can't feel much but what you feel is everything. 

Realizing life is so short and it's all about timing. 

We love and we hate. 

We complain and then we keep on. 

My heart has never felt this strong, my mind has never been so gone. 

What was the fuckin point of it all?

To have me thinking love, but it was nothing at all? 

What's wrong with me? 

Why can't I ever be the one? 

I hope that one day you're all happy. 

Taking every last piece of me until there was nothing at all. 

Im sorry I ever trusted you. 

I'm sorry I thought life could be so cool. 

I look through eyes of heartbreak and I can't see a thing. 

Nothing makes sense and it all fades to blue. 

The Calm Before.

Our hearts shatter into a million pieces and one day they become whole again. 

I can say I'm okay because I don't have to deal with those who hurt me. 

I can love like I never loved before because every guy is different. 

Sure there are the scars that I deal with, the baggage I can sometimes carry along. 

But the hope, and the newness is there. 

I keep going back, I try my hardest to shut my memories off. 

To not see your face in my dreams or in reality. 

I pretend that the best feeling I've had in a long time never even existed. 

And it feels wrong but what can I do?

I ask for the reason why to no avail. 

And then I respectably step aside and out of your life. 

Because why add to the craziness, to the complications. 

Maybe this decision will set some things right in the universe. 

That new paths that lead to better things will show themselves. 

We can only hope, and wait and see. 

Always..Your Type.

I'm not saying it's hopeless

Just shouldn't be your main focus. 

I think we just fall too quick, get wrapped up, and lose sight of everyone else. 

At least that's my problem. 

So I need to take this time to figure out what's worth it in this life. 

This is why we're soul mates because we care so much and give no fucks at the same time. 

Can't say that we love with our heads cause our hearts always win the race. 

I want to take you to quiet place, where the world can be ours just even for awhile. 

But then I snap back to reality and realize that can never happen. 

Because we're just two people from different circles so of course there'd be an end to the magic. 

I fall for the good ones and the bad and they all just screw you over. 

But little do they know karma's a bitch and she likes to keep you a little bit closer. 

I walk around with this chip on my shoulder and all the baggage of my past   

I can't tell you how many times I've been in this place in my life where I feel unwanted. 

Dazed and confused I keep searching. Keeping my eyes wide shut for "the one". 

They know I'll always be here, they know I'm a nice girl with a mean streak. 

That my heart is tainted, that my love is conditional because that's all I ever knew. 

They know that nothing will ever be enough, that my thoughts are too much for my heart and my head. 

And that more than anything I just want someone there. 

They know the story but still can't sign on. 

I can't be mad, I can't even blame them. 

So I wander through life and that's all there is to it. 

I Don't Mess With Them Fuck Boys She Said I Don't Either.

She knew when she said goodbye she was also saying hello. 

For her heart was never safe in his hands or any of his successors

And she knew this and those around her knew this but she didn't care. 

Because all she wanted was to be loved and held for the moment. 

But she was lied to, this caused her to shut off her emotions, because why would anyone lie to her. 

I can't compete with the ghosts of the past or the hopes you have for tomorrow. 

I need someone that'll fight for my heart and attention, for my love and devotion. 

Someone that actually deserves the good within me.

I can keep wasting my time with these fuck boys or I can cut the bullshit and get serious. 

I know I'm used to shit so it's easier to deal with, but I want to have that feeling of unaudible gratefulness to be alive. 

That ready to conquer the world and get my life together agenda. 

I want to feel whole again.