Starting over from Coal.

I feel as though a chapter has closed and another has began. I want to see straight into your heart, see the love again. I think that time is passing by and I've been waiting...for the bliss, for the ring, for the house.

But I can't skip chapters of our life. We both have unfinished business to attend to before we can start our lives. I want to make sure things are pristine, otherwise our hands won't be clean.

I'm sorry that I hurt you. That I gave you pain. I don't know where my voice has gone because of it. I just kind of have to handle things as they happen. Let so much go.

I lost something that day. My fire was smothered.

I lost my heart, my mind, and my life.

Touched by an Angel.

Heaven sent you came to me. Doe eyed. Bright wide smile. Giving me life. A love I never thought of. I knew of love. Often one sided. More of a fixation on someone, because of bad attributes. Maybe because they felt I was a catch of some sort. I tell you now that you became my world day one. You became everything as though I had never won. I saw a side of you that could love me til the end. I saw a side of that was kind, loyal and serious about loving me. Here we are serval years aside. The love is still here, sometimes it comes in with the tides. But I learned of a different side one darker than the night. It torn me up inside. Now I have this secret that I cannot tell. Something I wouldn't even know who I could trust with. I want to make sure you get all the help you need. I never want to see you crying on your knees, begging God to take something from you he gifted you. I feel responsible, but at the same time I can't believe it. Everytime I think of it. It puts a little burning deep inside my heart. You compare your love for me to the woman you loved. And it hurts because I feel that I am fallimg short. I don't know where I went wrong this whole time, but I have definitely learned a powerful lesson. Hearts have feelings, and stones do not. Know the difference, know why you fought. Pray to Him and he will release the pain. Answer when He calls, not when you've just gone insane. I love, you love, you love.

The shift.

Something took place here that's unforgettable.
I witnessed a crime that nobody knew happened to you.
I realized you can't handle things the way I put them to you.
I realized you're a softer human being than we all knew.
I died again and again as I realized I was losing you.
Having to catch you only to have you slowly slip out of my grasp again.
It's torture to keep this secret from the world.
To have to watch you more closely.
To not send you flying as I sometimes can do.
I'll make my way to your heart again and never will I break it.
Never will I forsake it.
Never can I push you away because that wouldn't be true.

Different Colored Eyes.

Please see me for who I am.
Looking into my soul with quiet eyes.
You see the truth, the sadness, the abuse.
The story is told ...
We sometimes take advantage of love and faith.
Thinking it will never go astray.
I pray for thee, to no longer forsake my love.
Don't take it away.
It wasn't written that it was limited, but it hurts for it to just be taken away.
We took time to get this way and it'll take us time to recuperate.
Stay by my side he said, I need you for life as well as love.
He said to her he realized his ways.
That's when he knew he had to take it all away.
The story ends with a kiss of redemption.
Bringing along a love that was once known.

My soul.

My heart, gone.
My soul, shaken to the core.

I loved someone, but that love turned cold.
Left alone, broken.

Crying til I can't no more.
Screaming because I was left.

What can right these wrong?
What will make us strong?

Stay.
Leeave.
Change your life.

Realize there is nothing wrong with sayimg it's ok.

Short.

My love, what will bring me back to you?
What words will bring me back into your heart?
I wonder why we've grown so far apart..
My heart no longer aches the same way it did when this first begun.
Take me from this place..I can't see where I'm going cause it's so dark...

Try as you might.

Make me take back everything I said. Without a doubt, this is your promise. To me. You'll see me through. To the end, even if defeat.

I stand alone. Head hung in sorrow. Heart breaking away. Little by little you watch me slip away. Where I go, who will know but for many days. It is too much to say, it is too much to feel. But I know the end is near.
There will soon be a day I hardly shead a tear. Cause why bother. Through these four walls my cries aren't heard. My pain isn't felt. My mind is swirled.

I look into a mirror, but there is no reflection.
I guess I finally lost me. 

You're mine forever and more.

everything happens for a reason..the seasons the birds singing.

My love for you is eternal..through distance, space and time my heart makes it way to you.

My soul has found it's life partner. To have, to hold, to cherish forever and more.

I could never even love another, the way I do you.

I hope you know that I appreciate you. I am so grateful for your return to me so faithfully.

You're sights are locked on to me. And I hope they stay there til our last days go.

When you find someone you know is true. No matter what always hold on...

No matter what always hold on...

No matter what I'll always hold on to you.

I Have A Little Light

Today I lost myself..
Like I seem to do every day..
Life won and I seemed to dwindle away..
My mood, my love, my hope...it has all turned grey.
I've wasted away...
Yet again letting myself down and the ones who love me.

Whenever life happens I run away..
Scared of success, scared of failure.
I'm rotting away..
I'm taking you down in this dead black grave.

When will I save me.
When will I see myself for what greatness I often forsake..
I need to practice what I preach..
I need to motivate me.
I want to be a success at this life I was blessed to see,
For 19 years now I have been here.
But I need to seize it, before it goes away.

I love you.
I love me.
I love life.

Today Marks the Greatest Sorrow

I find myself in my dark place.

Scratches and aches to show my stay.

I'm engulfed by four walls that invite in darkness.

I drink away my sorrows.

The golden brown liquid barely helps me forget anymore.

That my heart was wretched from my chest this afternoon. 

I can't help but think about how good of a girl I have been.

Saving the world and all, but what do I win?

Sadness, this dark cold existence where I reside.

Between four walls that are sucking out my life.

I try to breath but all of a sudden I'm in water. 

My lungs are filling up.

My heart is left to crumble.

When will this pain go away...?