Ode to Great Love, Great History.

How can I continue to keep falling in love?
Even though this heart of mine has gone through it it still survives.
Bring me forward to the light of things that are true and real.
If you prey on me I will make sure you fall.
Not the words of hate, but the hate of words will come out.
When no one was looking I cried until I no longer could.
Reach out to me and feel for my heart.
Just follow the cold and you'll find it.
Deserted once before, but I never forgot what it felt like to live.
The found memories of "I love you's" and adventures.
At times I feel guilty, because I know I took away the very breath in your lungs.
I don't like to say this aloud, but I live with hate towards myself and what I have done.
And if by any chance you ever read this know that I am so deeply sorry for what I did to you..know that no matter what you'll always be my first true love who made all my other loves pale to blue.
And though I am but a wanderer in this life I learned...
I learned that there is need and there is dependency.
There is closeness and there is suffocation.
There is trust and then there is nothing.
Even if what we had was destroyed it was something before it was nothing, and that will never be forgotten.
No matter how many puffs, sips, or lapdances take place those memories can never be washed away.
They meant something to me and I'm tired of acting on the contrary.
So I cannot lie to myself my entire life dear.
You were a crucial chapter to an extraordinary novel that's still being written.
And sometimes it hurts, and sometimes we fall, but all that ever matters is that we get back up and walk tall...

I love you forever and always..through distance, space, and time my heart will always find you.